Humans with deplete energy can’t properly care for themselves or others. Many who run themselves thin struggle to put their own needs first. Taking care of yourself really isn’t a matter of selfishness — in fact, making sure your needs are met only makes you more equip to support others. It is time to prioritize self-care and realize the benefits.
Isn’t self-care the same as selfishness? Not at all. Being selfish means your actions or desires would take from others; to their detriment, whereas self-care is about replenishing your resources without depleting someone else’s. There is a huge difference. Why is it then that the two are often looked at similarly?
I have had clients tell me they feel selfish taking time for themselves because this means sacrificing family time or work time. Anything you choose to do means that you cannot do something else. Yes. This is true. However, when you forego attending your own needs, only negative outcomes will ensue. If your partner or a care provider is there to tend to your family, or the work can be held for the moment, taking time for your own health is necessary and responsible. You will be better able to be present for the next thing to come.
Lack of self-care leads to built up resentment, anxiety, low energy, stress and even illness. Eventually burnout may occur and you may not be productive in your work or fully available to your family. Take time to assess whether or not you get enough sale-care? Feel empowered when you make the responsible decision to do so; instead of feeling guilty or selfish. By no means am I saying skip out on sharing home responsibilities or spending time with those you love. It is more about carving out some regular opportunities for looking after yourself within the framework of your life.
If you have started a new job or you have a newborn at home, for example, the time for self-care may be quite low, but you can definitely find some time in the span of a day for YOU. Perhaps a 15 minute walk or a soothing bath can help your replenish your energy stores; instead of a dinner out with friends or a ninety minute yoga class, which would take up more time. Work with what you have, but prioritize your own health.
Here are some tips for achieving self-care:
Use the Morning
Get up before everyone else and use the time to look at the day ahead or to meditate. Getting yourself clear for the day will have you feeling calm and ready for what’s to come.
Do something Nice for Yourself Daily
Serve yourself a healthy meal, spend 5 minutes stretching, make that fitness class, walk outside over a portion of your lunch hour or have a cup of herbal tea. Make note and be grateful for the fact that you get to take care of yourself. Important to realize when self-care is happening.
End the day with Gratitude
What went well for you today? What would you consider a win? Did you accomplish something valuable at work? Did you get a personal best at the gym? Did you make someone else feel good? Did you enjoy a nice meal?
Spend time with Friends and Family
Socializing with those we love fills us up. Spend meaningful, undistracted time with your friends and family. For example, if you have a busier evening or you must work late, make the morning more meaningful. Turn off the devices and be present.
Move
Take more steps, get to the gym, stretch. Movement boosts your feel good hormones and leads to long term health. Wake up and stretch in the morning for 5 minutes. End the day with a bedside plank. Engaging with yourself physically is an excellent way to care for yourself.
Make health giving Habits Routine
Try to see eating well, exercising, meditating, socializing and sleeping adequately as self-care. It is the way to protect your energy and age well. Small changes go a long way. Try to get to bed instead of spending the last thirty minutes of your day watching TV or browsing social media. Your body and mind will thank-you.
Don’t give Too Much; Ask for Help
Ask other for help, especially those who you work and live with regularly. Thos that perhaps should be task sharing with you. Perhaps you have been doing “too much” for so long now, it may seem odd to change. Others might resist? You must though! If you have found you carry more of the fair load in your home or work life, have an honest discussion about this so that you can feel better supported and free up some time for your own health.
Evaluate & Find the Right Amount
If others important to you question the time you are taking for yourself- look honestly at the situation. Are you taking too much time away from family or work for hobbies? Is it to the point where others are being negatively affected? If so, make the responsible adjustment. If you believe your self-care is totally reasonable, explain, don’t defend. Advise that you feel best when you have some opportunity to attend to your own needs. Negotiate what seems reasonable with your partner. Sacrificing all self-care is not an option.
Hopefully this has motivated you to look at your own self-care routine. If you don’t ensure your needs are met on a regular basis, no one else will. Your health will suffer. Carve out a self-care routine that works within the framework of your life. Email me your thoughts or self-care tips: michelle@crossfitdefy.com